Context:
This blog seeks clarity for self and the rest who are interested in me and my self expression. It also helps me to summarize the path I have come so far and also attempt to apply increased clarity, maturity and impact in the road ahead.
It is hoped that folks I engage see a sense of purpose and method in the madness I possess and dispose, but the risk is that, this very attempt to rationalize and express this could be quite a turn off for all concerned (but, not for me personally), hope at least this serves one to rationalize my madness at least if not the method around it! Also it serves as a humane disclaimer for all those who will risk to associate with me in future. (Ha! Ha!)
Background:
I have drawn some increased (and pleasant) attention from my family and friends through the recent Billion Trees and Beyond movement I am currently working on. One of my friends, who has lot of faith and hope on me called me inquiring what is going on around these gigs. I became present to explain to him effectively, but I was not sure I did so. So, went to bed around the sentiments associated, the universe kicked me out of the bed this morning with this clarity, I sat to draw it as a picture can replace thousand words, but this picture may need thousand words as it is loaded, can be very confusing and scary.
I took early retirement from work in 2008 at the age of 45, mainly for the reason that I could not bridge gap between my spirit and that is prevalent in a corporate world, I wanted to try something different. I attempted to be a humble entrepreneur (based on the proprietorship vehicle called MONFINZEN during 2009-11), but I could not breakthrough. Therefore I intensified the journey of self discovery through 2012 through 2014 which was quite rewarding. I started the journey of self expression in context of a collective around me in 2015, and I have learned a lot in this regard, further bringing clarity as to my purpose, positioning and engagement going forward.
But, the price to pay is the confusions that coexisted in the journey for self and caused for others, due to things being work in progress around my discovery, self expression, relations and engagements. Since, now I have reasonable clarity about myself if not journey ahead, it is time to take stock and project more clarity for all concerned.
Path so far:
2008-09: Transition from corporate mindset to someone on his own with no meaningful supporting anchors, exploration of possibilities around current relations and opportunities.
2009-11: An attempt to become a self made entrepreneur from nothing. Genesis of MonFinZen as one aspect of my personal framework then, called Creative Collaborations. MonFinZen focused on Money, Finance and Zen with the hope of striking the two most popular vehicles Money and Finance towards Wisdom (Zen). But, I was not well equipped around money and finance, I lost a lot of money for trusting idiots and cheats, my naivety was exposed, commitment to build commonsense and fostering individual integrity confirmed. My wife landing on wheelchair alerted me to shut down all the experimental engagements outside proving to be non-productive.
Parallelly took a journey to strengthen my heart, volunteered in my alumni contexts, was rewarded with a framework of Four Realms at the end of 2010 which established a clarity to pursue entire life ahead as a learning laboratory for self and collective. Failed attempt to partner in a private limited venture, peaceful exit through 2011.
2011-14: An era of self discovery fueled by a set of workshops (Jnana Vasantha 1-5) and engagement in my passions around gardening, photography, yakshagana, knowledge and wisdom, social networking and cultivating self expression. Tremendous internal growth based on self discovery, and emerging clarity of purpose leading to commitment of intentional living ahead. Emergence of Urban EverGreen Jungle framework and active engagement in the communities related to gardening, sustainability, yakshagana, social networks etc. JnanaVasantha workshops ensured surrender of heart (2012) and clarity for self expression ahead.
2014: The year of defining purpose and attaining a level of comfort with self guiding self expression ahead.
2015 onwards: Commitment to re-emerge with a set of self expressions in alignment with purpose and self expression. Another attempt made to emerge as an entrepreneur in a teaming context, rather was disappointed to see that a person considered mature and a friend for life time duping and cheating causing considerable further financial ruins for self. Founding of Basavanagudi OTG with the help of similar thinking friends, active engagement in OTG communities, continued exploration with sustainability agenda, proven results in the Ashrama Garden jungle on and around our home, nurturing Garden Photography as a hobby, emergence of PaakaAashrama Recipes in spite of loss of residential care taker arrangement at home during early 2017, citizen journalism through YouTube videos, Yakshagana documentation, founding of YakshaVahini, a trust to leverage internet for critical Yakshagana framework documentation with Ravi Madodi as the key partner for institutionalization and blessing of stalwarts like Sridhara D S, Gindimane Mrutyunjaya, Dr. Anandarama Upadhya and Dr. Pradeep Samaga. Emergence of YakshaPrasangaYaadi (lead by myself) and YakshaPrasangaKosha (lead by Ravi Madodi). Loss of health leading to Diabetes and High Blood Pressure due to reduced sleep, lack of discipline in food, increased stress due to intense engagements across multiple expressions. Emergence of MonFinZen wisdom series on YouTube. Writing attempts through blogs, postponing the writing projects for book publications (both fiction and non-fiction)
Year of 2018: Rationalizing life style around the setbacks of loss of caretaker at home, managing the life style disease and reforming towards further healthy life style, emerging clarity to balance self expression across all variables against head wind and tail wind, seeking integration and optimization across all variables of self and environment, slow down on time consuming engagements like Yakshagana documentation, PaakaAashrama Recipes, and citizen journalism. Emergence of Paint Bengaluru Green projects, increased commitment to the cause of Paint Bengaluru Green in spite of setbacks of not sufficient volunteer support, emergence of Billion Trees and Beyond primarily to tune me towrds inspiring others towards meaningful sustainable actions, attempting new innovations in self expression with experiments like Anantha Paathagalu (Infinite Wisdom series through citizen feedback of life span level lessons). Seeking more clarity and integrity between self, self expression and missions associated through writing in Quora forum with rich dividends. Sense of arrival with a spirit level surrender, increased attention to integrate and balance all aspects of self and the collective, hence the bold attempt to frame this framework at the beginning of new year to replace annual level visions, rather implement a dynamic self governance and evolution model with increased effectiveness, efficiency and integration for all concerned.
Possibilities in the path ahead:
The path so far has confirmed my anchoring both in reality and at the same time imaginations. Imaginations tuned to certain Utopian values shaped by my life so far. Confirmation as to minimize my engagement as an anchor and keeper, rather become more free spirited, and engage as a Narada, who influences more outcomes through other folks around who are earnest about their own self expressions. I will lead by the example of spirit proven through meaningful expressions and results, but position to be a mentor, coach, thought leader, writer, cheer leader, healer, teacher, collaborator and empowerer, innovator and incubator etc. Master the art of creating and then delegating to new leadership to grow and mature. Balance free spirit, Utopian alignment, resource and context limitations, aging limitations etc. by becoming a force of creating a wave and transferring the wave energy to next level than becoming a permanent anchor of such wave. Therefore, engagements like Paint Bengaluru Green and Billion Trees and Beyond will be lead until next level of leadership is blessed by the universe for me to handover. Mentor a team around Ravi Madodi for the increased activism of YakshaVahini with gradual reduction on my engagement dependency over next 2-5 years from the leadership position, but remaining a thought leader, innovator and collaborator there too for ever.
Best case scenario is that I will be able to bring the benefits of Yoga (inclusion, connection, optimization, harmony and emergence to higher level) in the contexts depicted by the framework above, making signification contributions towards my ambitious pet topics like poetic justice, self transcendence, eco-economy, and great possibilities ahead in human evolution cycle in general.
Worst case scenario: Nothing meaningful happens and a sense of decline pervades. But, given my sense of surrender, I am still left with a sense of poetic justice and self transcendence, so that I remain in the paradise I have arrived until my last breath.
In summary:
I owe this explanation to all those who take me seriously or are compassionate enough to connect with me in spite of gaps and confusions. At one end, I do have a sense of fulfillment with surrender, at the other end I do have a child like curiosity to pursue new possibilities for both self and the collective, I hope to make the dance associated across this duality more harmonious and fun for all concerned at the minimum.
Thank you for your association.
Namasthe
Nataraja Upadhya
(Pls. feel free to demand explanation on anything not clear in the framework I have attempted. Please feel free to take my help as a bouncing board if you like to attempt similar clarity for self around self realization, self expression, purpose of life, poetic justice and your eternal rights for the paradise in hell.)
References:
A. Blogs:
1. Billion Trees and Beyond
2. Paint Bengaluru Green and More
3. Nats Fun Corner
4. Mad Musings
5. ನಮ್ಮೂರು ...ಬೆ೦ಗ್ಳೂರು!
6. ಹೀಗೇ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ
7. ಪರಶುರಾಮ ಸೃಷ್ಟಿ ಕಥನಗಳ ನಿತ್ಯೋತ್ಸವ
8. My Notes on FB
B. The Rest
My FB Profile
MONFINZEN Wisdom series for personal growth!
Ashrama Gardens YouTube Channel
Tricks to develop an urban evergreen jungle
Ashrama Gardens Exclusive Videos
Ashrama Gardens Info Videos
Ashrama Gardens Urban EverGreen Jungle status reports
Ashrama Gardens Photo Videos # 0001 - # 0100
Ashrama Gardens Photo Video # 0101 - # 0200
Ashrama Gardens Photo Video # 0201 - # 0300
Ashrama Gardens Photo Video # 0301 - # 0400
Ashrama Gardens Facebook Page
PaakaAashrama Recipes YouTube Channel
PaakaAashrama Recipes # 0301 - # 0400
PaakaAashrama Recipes # 0201 - # 0300
PaakaAashrama Recipes # 0101 - # 0200
PaakaAashrama Recipes # 001 - # 0100
PaakaAashrama Recipes Facebook Page
My Personal YouTube Channel
Playlists on my YouTube Channels
ಕನ್ನಡ ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ ಕನ್ನಡಿಗ Kannada Karnataka Kannadiga YouTube Channel
ನಾವು ಕನ್ನಡಿಗರು - ನಮ್ಮ ಕನ್ನಡ Naavu KannaDigaru - Namma Kannada FB Page
ಯಕ್ಷಮ೦ಟಪ YakshaMantapa YouTube Channel
India the Incredible FB Page
Link to all of my Yakshagana Videos on YouTube via FB Note
ಯಕ್ಷಪ್ರಸಂಗಕೋಶ (YakshaPrasangaKosha) Blog
YakshaVahini Prathistana FB page
